As you may or may not know, ya girl suffers from anxiety and depression. During this quarantine, I have no other choice but to work on myself; like truly getting to know myself, what makes me happy and figuring out ways to make sure I remain happy and positive after quarantine is over. I've realized that what you put out into the universe, you'll get in return. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. The energy I've been giving to others, I've been receiving.
Sometimes I get so down because I’m not where I imagined myself at this age, but like I always tell myself, this too shall pass. You will often times find yourselves comparing your life to others - but what you have to remember is that you don't know what that other person wen through to get to where they are at now. You weren't there... They probably over there battling the same shit you dealing with. I also learned over the years that you can't always believe things you see on social media - Social media is a platform for people to showcase their highs. Who the hell going to broadcast their lows? - well besides me. LOLOLOL I'm an open diary so I don't mind sharing what I'm feeling. That must be the Sag in me. Im rambling - I say that to say, if you were to ask me right now where did I actually imagine myself, my life - I most likely won't have a concrete answer. I know overall, my ultimate goal is to be my own boss and be happy. Have a family of my own and live happily ever after. Now that I’m actually writing it, it dawns on me that I’m no one to give advice to you all but I think we’ve built this safe place where it’s ok to be broken and figuring life out.. Reality is even the happiest people are lost somewhere along their own path.
It’s okay to move at your own pace and be so lost in the sauce lol. But, to the main point of this post: positivity. When it comes to me being positive, even when I shouldn’t be I think the greatest thing you can do is really learn to ignore and move on. I learned over time that there are when you react to something it’s most likely because it struck a nerve. And I hate giving people that satisfaction. So you'll never know you struck a nerve in me. You just won't....I guess that hard part in that for me is, I keep my actual feelings bottled inside while showcasing a smile on my face. OR I often joke.. I make a joke of everything. Its easier for me to laugh and joke about something than to sit around dwelling and crying over it. Don't get me wrong, I do cry. I am a HUGE cry baby. But overall you'll find me laughing at my pain.
Despite all of this, I think its important to note that these are all things I learned by myself, at my own pace, things I criticize about myself and things I am working on. Being positive has really just helped me with a mentality that things will get better, things will fall together at the right time, and that sometimes adding fuel to a fire is the last thing you should do. Therefore, a lot of the time I really just ignore things. I say this time and time again in my blogs that I simply just shrug my shoulders at life. I've learned to pick and chose my battles. Dealing with anxiety and depression, and speaking with my therapist consistently, has taught me that sometimes life isn't fair and the point of life is to live it, not figure it out. I spent so sleepless nights trying to figure out WHY? Instead of just accepting this is the path it should be and God makes no mistakes. I am not religious, but I do believe that God does know the reason why he does the things he does.
It sounds crazy, to encourage you to shrug your shoulders at life but sometimes the simple action of literally “ignoring” it or bypassing it makes it seem that less important.. Giving your energy to things only allows those same things to dwell in your mind and to multiply in importance. Realistically, being positive even when you shouldn’t be can quickly teach you what’s important and what’s not. I tend to find the good in situations that many wouldn’t and I think that’s how I keep my sanity. But, if I am in a situation where I can’t find the positive, this is where the shrug comes in handy. Don’t let bad energies make you lose your focus, or feel like you aren’t doing enough. And I know you're thinking "girl wasn't you just crying in your last YouTube video?" - The answer is yes. I cry because in the moment, I let something cloud my overall judgement or overall picture for only a minute until I refocus and mentally bring myself into a safe space where I can think positively. No matter what anyone else says, focus on you! You’re your own competition, you’re your own motivation.
I say all this to say: don’t let people or situations have the power to alter your mood. It won’t always be a walk in the park or the best day ever, but it can easily be something that didn’t ruin you. Being positive isn’t about being happy all the time or having all the answers, it’s really about having faith and a grounded mindset that things will get better when the time is right.
I thought for my very first post, why not talk about the thing that actually pushed me to this blogging world.
Social Media...
I can't be the only person who tends to sit on their phone and gets lost scrolling into the black hole. I've realized that over the years, social media has evolved. Remember Myspace...AIM? Remember spending all that time rearranging your "top 8" and making sure you had a fire ass layout with music playing? You weren't the shit if you didn't have music playing in your background...Remember when your boyfriend/girlfriend would piss you off and you wrote long "away messages" to make sure they read it? Interestingly enough, I enjoyed those moments on social media.
Today we have sites like Facebook, and apps like Instagram.... Initially these platforms were created to allow us to remain in contact and share moments with people who weren't around to experience them with us. But, somehow, somewhere along the lines, things became advanced and really became platforms for people to express themselves. My issue with current social media is that it makes it so easy and inevitable for people to lie and deceive others. Now at 28, I utilize my social media differently than I would have years ago. I realize while I am not alone, in letting social media get to me, I learned how to use it to my advantage. I would scroll through my timeline and realized I followed a lot of people from Boston that utilized social media to express political beliefs, nightly outings, and local people from the hood posting things I never understood why they would even broadcast those things. Yet one day, I realized I didn't get on social media to see any of that, I solely have social media to get inspired. I have accounts on platforms that allow me to know what the new fashion trends are, what sales are approaching and what new makeup products are launching, and things of that sort.
This then transitioned to me revamping my social media to be tailored to my personal esthetic or mood I am feeling. I unfollowed every account on Instagram that did not inspire me to be a better person or that did not inspire my passion for makeup, fashion, blogging, and creating content for the world to see. Ever since then, I enjoy social media in a different light. I know y'all thinking okay this girl tripping... How can social media make her feel a way? But think about it... you get so sucked into pictures and posts that seem so real... and forget people can lie on these platforms and you would have no clue because you aren't there.
Additionally, I know people who have told me that they too found that social media can be apart of their insecurities. You find yourself comparing other peoples success to your real life. While, I don't think that makes you insecure or weak, I do believe that it is completely natural for us to look at someone else's life and wonder. But the most important take away is that you follow people who inspire you to level up, rather than people who make you feel less than. And also realize what you seek from social media, and what you want social media to do for you...like I did.
My instagram revolves around the concept that I like to get dressed up, and do my makeup from motherhood, to random real life posts, like this one here. To share my love for things that I know other people also love is satisfying.
And if you're one of those people who feel like social media is taking too much from you, than adding to your successes - please realize everything isn't what it seems to be.
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Jas.
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