As you may or may not know, ya girl suffers from anxiety and depression. During this quarantine, I have no other choice but to work on myself; like truly getting to know myself, what makes me happy and figuring out ways to make sure I remain happy and positive after quarantine is over. I've realized that what you put out into the universe, you'll get in return. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. The energy I've been giving to others, I've been receiving.
Sometimes I get so down because I’m not where I imagined myself at this age, but like I always tell myself, this too shall pass. You will often times find yourselves comparing your life to others - but what you have to remember is that you don't know what that other person wen through to get to where they are at now. You weren't there... They probably over there battling the same shit you dealing with. I also learned over the years that you can't always believe things you see on social media - Social media is a platform for people to showcase their highs. Who the hell going to broadcast their lows? - well besides me. LOLOLOL I'm an open diary so I don't mind sharing what I'm feeling. That must be the Sag in me. Im rambling - I say that to say, if you were to ask me right now where did I actually imagine myself, my life - I most likely won't have a concrete answer. I know overall, my ultimate goal is to be my own boss and be happy. Have a family of my own and live happily ever after. Now that I’m actually writing it, it dawns on me that I’m no one to give advice to you all but I think we’ve built this safe place where it’s ok to be broken and figuring life out.. Reality is even the happiest people are lost somewhere along their own path.
It’s okay to move at your own pace and be so lost in the sauce lol. But, to the main point of this post: positivity. When it comes to me being positive, even when I shouldn’t be I think the greatest thing you can do is really learn to ignore and move on. I learned over time that there are when you react to something it’s most likely because it struck a nerve. And I hate giving people that satisfaction. So you'll never know you struck a nerve in me. You just won't....I guess that hard part in that for me is, I keep my actual feelings bottled inside while showcasing a smile on my face. OR I often joke.. I make a joke of everything. Its easier for me to laugh and joke about something than to sit around dwelling and crying over it. Don't get me wrong, I do cry. I am a HUGE cry baby. But overall you'll find me laughing at my pain.
Despite all of this, I think its important to note that these are all things I learned by myself, at my own pace, things I criticize about myself and things I am working on. Being positive has really just helped me with a mentality that things will get better, things will fall together at the right time, and that sometimes adding fuel to a fire is the last thing you should do. Therefore, a lot of the time I really just ignore things. I say this time and time again in my blogs that I simply just shrug my shoulders at life. I've learned to pick and chose my battles. Dealing with anxiety and depression, and speaking with my therapist consistently, has taught me that sometimes life isn't fair and the point of life is to live it, not figure it out. I spent so sleepless nights trying to figure out WHY? Instead of just accepting this is the path it should be and God makes no mistakes. I am not religious, but I do believe that God does know the reason why he does the things he does.
It sounds crazy, to encourage you to shrug your shoulders at life but sometimes the simple action of literally “ignoring” it or bypassing it makes it seem that less important.. Giving your energy to things only allows those same things to dwell in your mind and to multiply in importance. Realistically, being positive even when you shouldn’t be can quickly teach you what’s important and what’s not. I tend to find the good in situations that many wouldn’t and I think that’s how I keep my sanity. But, if I am in a situation where I can’t find the positive, this is where the shrug comes in handy. Don’t let bad energies make you lose your focus, or feel like you aren’t doing enough. And I know you're thinking "girl wasn't you just crying in your last YouTube video?" - The answer is yes. I cry because in the moment, I let something cloud my overall judgement or overall picture for only a minute until I refocus and mentally bring myself into a safe space where I can think positively. No matter what anyone else says, focus on you! You’re your own competition, you’re your own motivation.
I say all this to say: don’t let people or situations have the power to alter your mood. It won’t always be a walk in the park or the best day ever, but it can easily be something that didn’t ruin you. Being positive isn’t about being happy all the time or having all the answers, it’s really about having faith and a grounded mindset that things will get better when the time is right.
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